Reflection & Engagement

The following questions are also located on pages 2-4 of your Course Workbook

For this engagement we are inviting you to think through the categories of attachment as they play out in adult relationships. It will be helpful to choose a memory of a relational scenario in which you were sitting with someone as a client or therapist, parishioner or pastor, ministry participant or ministry leader, friend or spouse.

ATTUNEMENT

Attunement is bearing witness by giving someone your full attention. It’s letting them affect you and having confidence on the person’s behalf that goodness will come.

Recall a time when you experienced someone’s attunement:

1. In what way did you feel seen? What did they notice?

2. How did they express what they were seeing/noticing?

3. How did this experience of attunement impact you personally and influence the interaction?

Recall a time when you personally offered someone attunement:

1. What did you notice about the person? What did they need?

2. How did you name what you were noticing?

3. What did it feel like to attune to another and how did it impact the remainder of the interaction?

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CONTAINMENT

Containment is the capacity to create and hold boundaries that provide honor, delight, and insight. In the midst of story work, containment invites movement in the story and brings illumination.

Recall a time when you experienced someone’s containment:

1. In what way did you feel honored or held?

2. How did they set boundaries that brought a sense of rest, or honor something significant about your personhood?

3. How did this experience of containment impact you personally and influence the interaction?

Recall a time when you personally offered someone containment:

1. What did you experience of the person that let you know they needed containment?

2. How did you offer care that brought honor and/or offered rest?

3. What did it feel like to offer containment to another and how did it impact the interaction?

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REPAIR OF RUPTURE

Repair of rupture is the willingness to own failure instead of becoming defensive or avoidant in the midst of conflict. It builds deeper trust and invites mutual transformation.

Recall a time when you experienced repair in the wake of relational rupture:

1. What caused the initial rupture?

2. How did the person seek to bring repair?

3. How did this experience of repair impact you personally and how did it impact the relationship?

Recall a time when you personally offered someone repair in the wake of relational failure:

1. How did you fail the person? What did the rupture look like?

2. What words or actions did you bring to invite repair?

3. What did it feel like to find the courage to bring repair in a moment of failure? How did this impact the relationship?